“I am really happy for you imma let you finish, but beyonce had one of the best music videos of ALL TIME”
for those who don’t know, this was Kanye West’s bizarre intrusion of Taylor Swift’s grammy winning moment on stage that left the world flabbergasted.
What just happened. We all couldn’t believe it. If we dissect Kanye’s statement, nothing in particular is out of line or offensive. Yet it has been labeled that. My question is was it reeeaaally offensive or was it just too direct?
Lets rewind a couple of hours, imagine JAY Z and Beyonce getting ready before heading to that grammys event. Beyonce asks Jay Z a question “Jay, do I look fat in this dress?” “EH yeah, I think you gained a little weight”
It took JAY Z three weeks to fully recover from that.
Anyways, back to our grammys night. Taylor swift is devastated so she goes to her changing room and starts crying and weeping, and due to the messy situation, a booger is left unwiped on her nose. A few minutes later someone knocks on her door and guess who! It is her favorite comedian, Kevin Hart, he chats with her for a bit to comfort her, and at the end, Kevin tells her “Hey Taylor, for gods sake make sure you clean that booger before you get back on stage alright”.
Now we are left with 3 dilemmas.
Should JAY Z have concealed the truth to protect Beyonce’s feelings, or did he do her a favor by being a direct communicator, even if the truth was hurtful?
Did Taylor prefer Kevin’s direct communication which was momentarily embarrassing but surely saved her tons of internet public humiliation?
And did Beyonce’s disapproval of JAY Z’s direct communication change after Kanye’s praise?
The reality is, there is no right or wrong answer, it all depends on the way the person chooses to communicate, they will most likely appreciate you reciprocating the same communication style back to them. It will also largely depend on the context, and whether it falls in their favor or not.
Now I have always been a direct communicator, which as you can tell is double-edged sword. I value my own time a lot, so I am fan of being straightforward in my personal or work life because I believe that not beating around the bush saves others time too. It is lean, efficient and effective. I remember being a kid and disliking hearing the tasteless small talk between adults. It was often sugar coated and lacked sincerity.
Every time I saw adults meet and say their typical “ let us see you around” or “we should hang out sometime” or my mom telling a family friend “omg you look great”. All I could think is fake FAKE FAKE.
I admired direct characters like Ronaldo, Mourinho, Mcgregor or Zlatan.
I believed in being frank in praise or criticism, I viewed it as the most beneficial for the recipient.
As I grew up, I realized why adults tend to be less direct with their communication. I learned about emotional intelligence and saw its importance. You can land a job with confidence and eloquence without having the most impressive CV. You can make up and be forgiven for a big mistake with your friend, family or partner by buttering things up. This taught me that sometimes sweet talk can open gates for you… that is how life works, and there is nothing wrong with it.
The clever and effective communicator is one who is aware, and in control of what they are saying. One who is versatile and can juggle between communicating directly and garnishing the sentences when needed.
Kanye could have congratulated Taylor before giving a shout out to Beyonce.
Kevin Hart could have just pointed to Taylor’s nose silently to convey the message and make the moment less memorable and embarrassing.
As for JAY Z telling Beyonce about the weight gain, the best way he could have probably handled it is by shutting his mouth J